About Me

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Michael seeks to create works that reflect his struggles with the world he finds himself living in, and the commonalities that we all share in this. Desire, Defeat, Acceptance, Judgment, Love, Fear, Time, and Space. Michael's studio is downtown Los Angeles in the Spring Arts Tower. "Happiness is that funny little place halfway between fantasy and reality." -me

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Shells/New York City Post 9-11 Paintings

www.michaelgardnerart.com

I am finishing preparing for The Artist Project NY. I have nine new paintings done, and one left to finish. I had previously painted 10 large oil paintings in 2009 on canvas. These paintings were based on the small watercolor studies I did back in 2001, from polaroids I took of daily life in New York. Manhattan to be exact. A month after the 9-11 attacks to be timely precise. I took the polaroids as I wandered about the city. I love polaroids, something about them makes for a perfect time-capsule of a moment in a way that I don't find in 35mm or digital pictures. I think part of that notion is based on Andy Warhol's polaroid work. Part of it comes from my work in high fashion, where you polaroid the model as the final look is established and becomes the reference for the runway. Part of it comes from making the daily bible in TV or film. Polaroiding the actor in their look for a particular scene, noting what is worn and how in the event you need to re-shoot. A snapshot of that exact moment. So I was for me, trying to hold onto those days shortly after this singularity of 9-11. Trying to remember what life was like before and not yet ready to digest what was now. In fact now was now post the event, and life was moving along as it had to. We are always trying to keep All of It in status quo, but God doesn't work that way. All That Is uses evolution to express itself, and evolving is in my mind doing God's work. Allowing yourself to grow and change. Accepting events, the momentum of life, and change as the only permanent status we actually have. It took me nearly 10 years to allow myself to make the large scale paintings of The Shells, as was always my intent, from the small delicate watercolor studies. When I finally did, I was living in Los Angeles and had my studio downtown. Downtown Los Angeles; where Hollywood comes to film all the outside "N.Y." scenes due to the buildings and facades they dress up to appear as the real place, when they can't or won't go to N.Y. to film, and where I found myself on the 10th floor of a building in my studio listening to the noise of the city below. The same noise any large city would produce. It could be N.Y. sound-wise with sirens, busses, and various loud pedestrian antics rising up to my open window just like the wolves I used to listen to howling down 8th Avenue in Hells Kitchen where I lived when I started this project. It was the perfect time to paint The Shells.
A few months ago I applied for and was invited to participate in The Artist Project NY, and I knew it was time to show these paintings, and in the city they were meant to be shown. I wanted to paint some smaller pieces for the show. A new reflection on The Shells that moved the series forward in another way. I came across Andy Warhol's Reversals, and realized that I wanted to look at these paintings in this inward style. I wanted to make the background as important as the foreground "action" of the figures, if not stronger. In this way I hope to show how ephemeral and transient the Moments are, and drive home what I learned after 9-11. Life is precious, fleeting, and fragile. We are all but shells, and like a shell hard and beautiful, but surely Time will wear down the shell and but a grain of sand will remain. And as William Blake wrote long before:

To see a world in a grain of sand 
And a heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour


Geranium Shell
Oil, Oil Stick on Canvas
44" x 60"



Fuschia Shell/Reversal
Oil, Oil Stick on Canvas
18" x 30"



In my studio in prep for the show. New paintings.
The Shells/Reversals
Oil, Oil Stick on Canvas
18" x 30" each






Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Upon meeting Stephen Hawking...

I'm working on 33 Variations starring Jane Fonda. It is because of her and her generosity that I was able to meet, speak to, shake hands with, and be in the presence of Stephen Hawking. And he did in fact speak back to me, which I learned firsthand takes time and patience. He said "yes". More on that later...
Stephen came to see Jane, whom he described as his heart throb, on account of Barbarella, and that being just one of many reasons I would bet! And why not? How perfect that this man of Science would be attracted to the beautiful and sexy Barbarella, the first lady of outer space, who is charged with helping to save Earth from a deadly weapon. He brought her a beautiful bouquet of flowers...we all stood around in a semi circle as Jane introduced him to Moises Kaufman, the writer and director of 33 Variations. Jane plays a musicologist who is struck with ALS as she is writing what will be her final paper on Beethoven's 33 Variations. Jane asked him if as with Beethoven upon losing his hearing resulted in creating some of his most beautiful works was the same as Stephen's mind being freed from the constraints and distractions of the body. After several minutes he replied "Yes. It gave me the freedom from having to teach". We were dumbfounded with delight, and all laughed as he shared this with a grin and a twinkle in his eyes. I stood directly in front of him in this semi circle, about 15 feet away. I was struck by his presence. Awestruck is more appropriate. I joke sometimes that after working in showbiz as long as I have, that I've met everyone. However, I never imagined that I would be in the same country at the same time as Mr. Hawking, let alone get to be in his company. Jane related to Stephen that there was a man present who was  their costumer and had read all his books and was so excited hearing of his visit. She looked for me  and asked me to come forward to meet him. Time stopped for me, and no joke. This is one of those moments that time speeds up and stops simultaneously. You step out of your body and something else takes over...I stepped forward to greet him (in front of I would guess 30 - 40 people?). The word on my mind the past couple of years has been "vulnerable". This on account of Francesco Clemente, who said to Charlie Rose in an interview that an artist must "cultivate vulnerability". In the past couple of weeks several people in my life have made mention of the importance of allowing yourself to being vulnerable. Well, my opportunity struck me like lightening. I said to Stephen: "I can't say I've understood all that I've read in your books, but I've tried to. They have been an enormous inspiration to me". I then wanted to say something about how important I believed his life was during this very specific time in our world's history, what with the state of humanity...but all that came out next was, "you're a very special man, and I am blessed to be in your presence". During this his kind assistant who was with him from Cambridge reached over and placed his hand in mine. It was all I could do not to spill tears from my eyes, and keep my voice from breaking entirely. I was moved to meet him in a way that I cannot begin to translate. I feel like I've been enlightened. I feel like I was blessed to meet a man who with all the grace and patience of a saint conducts his life in a way that is a parable for all of us. As I stood before him and looked into his eyes I felt like he was coming from a great distance, but his presence was enormous and palpable. I believe that he must operate on many levels due to the confines of his body and the chair he wheels through life in. But there is nothing imperfect about him. There isn't anything that I would now after meeting him think of as handicapped, or inhibited by difficulty. His grace and insight allow him to thrive in a manner that no one else could possibly imagine, and or replicate, but which allows us to learn beautiful lessons from. I know I will think about and meditate on Stephen for a very very long time, more than likely for the rest of my life...there was that much there for me from that brief but infinite crossing of paths. I hope that as an artist I can distill this into works that share a glimpse of this infinite.


Before the time with Stephen was finished, I was having a picture taken with him. I told him about an argument I had online with the British artist Damien Hirst about conceptual art. I shared that my response to something Damien said was constructing a box and sealing it with tape. I wrote on the box Schrodinger's Cat. I related how Schrodinger's idea that the cat existed and didn't exist at the same time was a basic law of physics, and how much these ideas inspire me. He responded, "Yes".

ps Schrodinger's Cat is pictured in the Wednesday, November 24th post below...coincidence? There is no such thing...